depressed

De - pressed -adjective 1. sad and gloomy; dejected; downcast.

I feel its a total cheek for me to even think i'm depressed, but I can't help but think this way. I am feeling really low. Nothing in my life is going as i'd like. Its the truth, I want everything in my life to change. I dont have energy for any of it.

I should probably accept help offered by my doctor, but
1. I dont want to believe I need help
2. I feel others need it more than me
3. I dont really see what talking or medication can do for me, apart from making it worse.

I think I need a bit of sunlight. I might actually go for a sunbed - it has bright lights that make you feel better. Plus it might help my skin (the acne), which is upsetting me. I know sunbeds are dangerous, but i'm not going to use them excessively. I can't afford to!

There are times I just want to talk, talk talk and then others I want to be quiet and still. I never get what I want though. When I want to talk, no-one wants to talk. When I want to be quiet, everyone talks! It must be me! Whats wrong with me?

..well. Whata numpty I am.

Tonight Me and P head to glasgow ready for our film. I park my car in the parking lot and get my purse open so I can take my unlimited card out only to realise I left it in the pocket of my jeans I wore last time!! Damnit!!

We go in and I tell the girl, but she says they keep no records so I have to pay. £6.50!! What an idiot I am. TO make things worse the film wasn't all that. It had a reallybad ending. I guess the good points where the snuggles Paul gave me when he got scared haha.

Oh, the chinese food was amazing. Had it at 8pm. Its 3:30am now I'm really hungry. I'll wait until morning though. Only because I have no food to eat!

On the way home, it was snowing. Heavy. I hope I wake up to a blanket of white snow. That would be awesome. Had a nice close time with my boy tonight. Feeling the love

Let the good times roll

xx

Cineworld

Paul and I bought a membership to cineworld. Which, for £11.99 a month gives us unlimited viewings.

So far (in the past 10 days) we've seen

James Bond - Quantum of Solace
Max Payne
Zac and Miri Makea Porno
Pride and Glory
My Best Friends Girl

Not one film has been a disappointment.We've had such a good time there. We are going to the HUGE cinema in Glasgow, which I had never visited before I got the membership. I am very impressed. Very comfortable seats and huge screens. (toilets are nice and clean too - hey! if you need to go, you wanna go somewhere thats clean, right!?)

This evening, after we have a chinese and catch the tail end of X Factor, we're thinking of going to see Quarantine. Its a horror. So, that means I get extra snuggles haha!

Anyway, I'm off to get the chinese food now

xx